Self-harm

People deal with feelings in different ways. Advice and support is there if you need it...

Self-harm

Self-harm is when you deliberately hurt yourself, usually when something else feels wrong and there seems like no other way to let those feelings out.

Anyone is at risk of self-harming, not just young people, but it is often the result of another problem, such as feeling anxious or stressed, pressure at school or work, being bullied, relationship problems or trauma. It often gives the person a sense of control.

Self-harm is very common and yet stigma continues to prevent people seeking help. It is a symptom of some other struggle. There is hope; people can learn to manage their emotions in different ways, underlying causes can be addressed.

Self-harm is not attempted suicide; it’s a coping strategy some people use in order to survive. However, the issues that cause the internal distress that can lead to self-harm are also linked to an increased risk of suicide. The message is the same; be aware of family and friends who are struggling, start the conversation …they, YOU are not alone.

People use different terms for self-injury such as self-harm, deliberate self-harm self- injurious behaviour. Self-harm is an umbrella term that includes a variety of behaviours that happen when a person causes injury or harm to themselves.

Some of the most common forms of self-harm include:

Cutting
Burning
Overdose
Scratching or picking
Biting
Hair pulling
Eating issues or eating disorders
Alcohol and substance abuse
Head banging and hitting
Taking personal risks

Self-injury falls under the umbrella of self-harm, and is generally viewed as including direct behaviour that causes injury and damage to one's body.

People who self-harm

Sometimes people find it difficult to manage and express their feelings in appropriate ways. It is often to help them to manage the way they are feeling or to deal with stressful situations. Some people self-injure when they have feelings of anxiety, depression, stress, frustration, distress or when they feel out of control. Self-injury can, for some people, provide temporary relief from difficult feelings and can transfer emotional pain into physical pain which may be easier to manage.

The pain inflicted can also release endorphins and a rush of adrenaline which can initially bring short-lived relief, pleasure and release to the person. However, feelings of remorse, shame and guilt can soon follow, which can often perpetuate a vicious cycle leading to the person self-injuring again.

How common is self-harm?

Self-harm is more common than many people realise, especially among younger people...

A survey of people aged 15-16 years carried out in the UK in 2002 estimated that more than 10% of girls and more than 3% of boys had self-harmed in the previous year.
In 2013, the Health Behaviour in School-Aged Children (HBSC) report reveals that 20% of 15-year-olds questioned had hurt themselves.
In 2014, a new survey by the World Health Organisation (WHO) suggests that in England the number of teenagers who have self-harmed has tripled in the last decade.
Anecdotal reports from local services suggest that self- harming in the Isle of Man in young people may well parallel that of England.

‘Being the parent of a child who self-harms is the most challenging and distressing experience. Discovering my child is so deeply unhappy and unable to express their feelings in any other way than to cut themselves is horrifying. At times I've felt panic, confusion and hopelessness. I've questioned whether I failed to protect my child, did I miss something, should I have done something differently? How can I stop this? I can't stop this.

‘My way to get through these highly emotional responses was to arm myself with knowledge, research as much as possible and seek professional advice. Talking to others about the situation has helped me feel less isolated and hearing other people's similar experiences gives me the strength to continue to understand and support my child.’

Local parent of someone who self-harms

Self-injury temporary relief

Although self-injury can give you temporary relief, it can be quickly followed by other feelings like shame and guilt. It also keeps you from learning more effective strategies for feeling better.

You can hurt yourself badly, even if you don't mean to. For example, it is easy to misjudge the depth of a cut or the short and long term impact of ingesting medication or substances.

It is important to learn new and more appropriate coping strategies. Learning other ways to deal with emotional pain means that you will be better equipped to deal with and manage any upsets or challenges in the future.

Alternatives to self-injury

Many people who self-injure learn new ways to cope or distract themselves when they feel the need, often referred to as an 'urge' to self- injure, others may look for alternatives or substitutes which are less damaging or harmful.

Alternatives banner

Some distractions and alternatives to self-injury are:

alternative therapies such as massage, or aromatherapy
baking or making a meal
being creative: make things, draw or paint
exercise: this helps to release endorphins and get that that feel-good factor
going online and looking at websites that offer you advice, information and support
having a bubble bath
listening to music or making music singing or playing instruments
spending time with friends or family
writing any negative thoughts or feelings down..then rip them up!
yoga, deep breathing meditation

or visit these sites to get more ideas:

Disclaimer: Content found on websites we link to do not necessarily reflect the views of our service. Third-party websites are for informational purposes only and we cannot be held responsible for any content on these websites.

What to do if you are self-harming

Talking with a trusted friend or family member can really help, but this can sometimes be hard to do. It may be easier to talk to someone who is not personally involved in your life. In the first instance you could try talking to your GP. Your GP will listen to you and not judge you; they may help you consider other alternatives as coping strategies or refer you to a trained professional who will be able to help you talk through thoughts and feelings.

Samaritans logo If a GP isn't available and you feel you need help straight away, contact the Samaritans who run a service with confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair.

The phone number for the Isle of Man Samaritans branch is +44 1624 663399.

Being safe online

Self-harm content online can often be insensitive or disguised as support. There may be personal accounts, images or videos that share methods, online communities that share thoughts on self-harming or online challenges that encourage people to take part in a self-harming activity.

It’s important to understand your responsibility to post online safely about self-harm so as not to trigger upset or distress in yourself or others.

You can also protect yourself from seeing distressing content by controlling what you see online.

If you are worried about what your child is viewing online, read the guide on talking to your child about self-harm and suicide content online.

Be comfortable with the content you share and view online. Visit the Samaritans online safety resources.

More information and advice

We have compiled a collection of useful websites and factsheets about self-injury. Take a look at the table below for links to factsheets, advice and support networks.

Self-harm information and advice
LifeSIGNS self-injury factsheet	Rethink self-injury factsheet
YoungMinds self-injury factsheet	LifeSIGNS
National Self-harm Network	Recover your Life
Self-harm UK	YoungMinds
Childline	Isle Listen
Harmless
Information for...
Friends	Parents and Carers
Employers	Teachers and Lecturers

Updated 2 February 2024